"Point your toes!" (Also, exams, studying, and exhaustion)

Hello fans, (if I have any)

I'm trying to keep up with my blog more often. Usually, when I feel stressed about something, I like to talk about it to process it. Writing it out can also give me the same process...

I'm entering into the midterm exam time at school. I had one in an easy class and got a C. I was very disappointed. So it's safe to say that I'm terrified of my upcoming Philosophy exam next week. I did discuss my anxiety with my professor today, and he surprised me by being very encouraging. Today, in class, all we did was sit in groups and discuss everything we've learned so far and he walked the classroom answering questions individually. It was very helpful for me. I wish I could have him for every class! Anyway, all that is to say that I'm in the middle of creating my own study guides for Philosophy and Classical Humanities class, planning for my 7 page essay in Humanities and my presentation, in addition, to making time for the gym to supplement dance class. I'm loving all of it, but sometimes I feel very crushed by the weight of stress when I have too much happening at once. It's a learning process for me. It took me a YEAR to figure out how to navigate school and studying. I don't think it's like that for everyone else.

So, I do have a lot of goals: One of my goals is in in ballet. In the photo you'll see how far I can get my leg up on the barre while in an upright standing position, but I'm obviously working on my flexibility. I hope to be able to get my middle splits down by the end of the semester.

I realized that Converse shoes are flexible, yet sturdy, so I'm practicing an eleve in 5th position constantly because I'm having a hard time with it. I'm learning what I need to do to balance better, so my new gym membership will allow me to focus on my core exercises. One of my classmates asked me yesterday if I'm still doing the "tutu thing." I laughed! Maybe I should start wearing a tutu to class!

Although, I'm exhausted, it's a different kind of exhaustion. It's the kind of tired where I feel like I'm being productive on a daily basis. I could still do better: clean more, study more, dance more, exercise more....I could go on and on. But I'm learning to be happy with the here and now and push myself a little further everyday. It's a good thing. 

Recently, I was able to be added to my husband's medical insurance which allows me to see a Psychiatrist for my meds (for panic disorder and PTSD) as well as start seeing a therapist. After our first therapy meeting last month, he told me that he'd like me to start group therapy. I'm all for it but at the same time, I'm terrified. My first group therapy session is tomorrow evening and I feel very scared. I guess we'll see how it goes. 

So, with that said, I've got to get back to my homework, study guides, and other various things I need to get done tonight to get ready for tomorrow. Tata (or Tutu) for now...