Just Like the Cool Kids....

Have I finally become one? People tell me that I'm "soooo cool" all the time these days. It's weird because I don't have any idea what they're talking about. But when I really do sit down and think about it, I realize that it's because I've finally figure out how to be myself in EVERY situation. I put thought into my wardrobe, but not to "fit in". Only to have it represent me in whatever way it is I choose for that to mean on that day. It could be girly, goth, punk, grunge, or whatever. Just depends on my mood. I have people stop me on the street telling me my outfit is "soooo cool."  They usually ask me where I got my clothes and they're a little taken aback when I say that really I only shop at the thrift stores.

All of my life, I tried so hard to fit in and be "cool" whatever that means. Of course, I know now that I was "masking" and learned how to become a chameleon in order to try to fit in. I was a people-pleaser because I thought that THAT is what I needed to do to become "cool" and to fit in with the right people. But I realize that at the point that I am in life now, being "sooo cool" apparently, is what I had been seeking all of my life. Weirdly. Also, during my middle school years, I wanted to be cool so badly, but all the cool kids seemed to be so mean. I wasn't sure I wanted that, but I didn't want to be on their BAD side.

It took a lot of life experience and honestly, a lot of anger at the world, for me to get here. I've traded my anger in for empathy for others and an attempt at kindness whenever I can. 

I truly don't care about being cool. I only care about being kind to others and being an example of what a humanitarian is. I want to ACT to show my empathy for others in need. But if it also means that people view me as cool, then I guess that's a good thing. Human kindness should always be viewed as a good thing. I try my hardest everyday. I'm not perfect, no one is.